Stress control.

It has become clear to me now that I use crying as stress control..
I cry everytime I am stressed.
Literally..

I have been stressing alot today and felt like crying all day.
I cried this morning when my mom told me to do the dishes.
And I cried like 30 minutes ago.

I decided cause I was stressed today to go to the 5 service at the cac.
I did but I got there late.
I went cause I felt I needed the company and someone to talk to.
Mr. Scott is the new campus pastor for Romeoville.
That's about all I made it for.
I talked to Angela Kirchner and I started crying..
I told Angela that I miss Amber and I miss Jim.
I told her I feel like I made the hugest mistake breaking up with him..
I really hope I can get ahold of him today though..
I want to talk to him and see if he wants to come see fireworks with me..

But maybe it would be less stress if I didn't talk to him?
Idk...
I really want to..
I keep crying and my head hurts from crying so much..